The car hydroplaned on an off-ramp, and within 24 hours, a best friend’s mom was threatening to sue for “attempted second degree murder.” If you’ve ever worried about being sued after a car accident, this story from r/legaladvice is the one that’ll make you feel better about your own situation. Because no matter how bad yours is, it probably isn’t this unhinged.
The poster, u/Ournameis_Legion, had picked up their best friend “Amber” to go grab food. Normal Tuesday stuff. But the weather had other plans.
“I was just in a car crash with my best friend and her mom wants to sue me for ‘attempted second degree murder.’ I picked up my best friend Amber to get food. On the off ramp, I hydroplaned and crashed. We are both mostly okay, but Amber might have a fractured or broken arm.”
Mostly okay. A possible broken arm. Scary, sure. But we’re talking about hydroplaning, not road rage. Not reckless driving. Not a DUI. The car hit water on a highway off-ramp, and physics did what physics does. Anyone who’s driven in the rain knows the stomach-dropping feeling of tires losing grip. It’s terrifying, it’s sudden, and it’s one of the most common causes of single-vehicle accidents in the United States.
The poster had to leave the hospital and go home. And that’s when the real disaster started.
“I had to leave the hospital to go home and I just got a message from Amber saying her mom wants to sue for ‘attempted second degree murder,’ claiming the crash wasn’t an accident.”
Read that again. Attempted second degree murder. For hydroplaning.
The poster’s reaction was basically what yours is right now. This can’t be real. This can’t be a thing that actually happens. And the panic was obvious in the post. Here’s a young person who just survived a car wreck, whose friend got hurt, who’s already shaken and guilty, and now someone’s parent is throwing around criminal charges like they’re filing a Yelp review. The post radiated that specific kind of fear you get when someone threatens legal action and you’ve no idea what’s real and what isn’t.
The comment section, for once, was almost unanimously helpful. And the top responses cut right through the panic with something the poster desperately needed to hear.
“She can’t sue you for attempted murder. That’s a criminal offense only the state can bring. Let the insurance company handle it.”
Straightforward. Calm. And exactly right. But the second top comment went even further, and honestly, it’s the one I wish every driver in America would screenshot and keep in their phone. For more on this topic, see our guide on personal injury claims involving animal attacks.
“This is why you’ve insurance. It pays for injuries AND to defend you if someone sues. Do not engage with this woman. Provide your friend with your insurance card. Notify your insurer of the accident.”
That comment had nearly 11,000 upvotes. More than the original post. Because it’s the kind of practical, no-nonsense advice that cuts through the noise when someone is spiraling. And it touches on something most drivers genuinely don’t understand about their own auto insurance.
Why You Can’t Sue Someone for “Attempted Murder” After a Car Crash
Let’s start with the part that made 11,000 Redditors collectively roll their eyes. Amber’s mom wanted to sue for attempted second degree murder. That phrase combines a criminal charge with a civil process, and it doesn’t work that way. Not even a little.
The difference between criminal and civil cases is one of the most fundamental distinctions in the American legal system, and most people get it wrong. Criminal charges (murder, assault, DUI, theft) are brought by the government, specifically a prosecutor or district attorney, on behalf of the state. You, as a private citizen, can’t walk into a courthouse and file attempted murder charges against someone. That’s not how any of this works.
What Amber’s mom could theoretically do is file a civil lawsuit for personal injury. That’s a completely different legal track. In a civil case, you’re asking for money damages, not prison time. The standard of proof is lower (“preponderance of the evidence” rather than “beyond a reasonable doubt”), and the outcome is a financial judgment, not a criminal conviction.
Could Amber’s mom have reported the accident to police and asked them to investigate? Sure. Anyone can make a report. But a prosecutor would look at the facts (hydroplaning on a wet off-ramp, no alcohol, no intent, no reckless behavior) and decline to press charges before lunch. Attempted murder requires proving the driver specifically intended to kill someone. Hydroplaning is, by definition, a loss of vehicle control. It’s the opposite of intent.
Now, here’s the part that actually matters for anyone reading this because they’ve been in a similar situation. Even though the criminal threat was nonsense, that doesn’t mean a civil claim was impossible. If Amber did break her arm, she had medical bills. And in most states, the driver of the vehicle can be held liable for a passenger’s injuries if the accident was caused by the driver’s negligence. That’s standard auto insurance liability coverage territory. It doesn’t require intent. It doesn’t require malice. It just requires that the driver did something (or failed to do something) that a reasonably careful driver wouldn’t have done under the same circumstances.
Driving too fast for wet conditions? That could qualify. Following too closely on a slick off-ramp? Maybe. The specifics matter. But the critical point is this: even if Amber or her mom pursued a legitimate personal injury claim, it would be a civil matter handled through insurance. Not a criminal prosecution for attempted murder.
Your Insurance Pays for Your Defense (and Most People Don’t Know That)
That second top comment, the one about insurance paying for both injuries and your legal defense, is the piece of information that changes everything for most people in this situation. And based on the thread’s engagement, it clearly resonated.
Here’s what most drivers don’t realize about their auto insurance policy. When you carry liability coverage (which is legally required in 49 out of 50 states), your policy includes two things: payment for injuries and property damage you cause to others, and a legal defense if someone sues you over a covered accident. That second part is huge, and it’s baked into every standard liability policy in America.
When someone files a lawsuit against you for a car accident, you don’t go hire a lawyer and drain your savings. You call your insurance company. They assign an insurance defense attorney to represent you at no additional cost. That attorney’s job is to protect you (and, yes, to protect the insurance company’s money, but those interests are aligned in most cases). They handle the filings, the depositions, the negotiations, and if it goes to trial, they represent you in court.
This is why the commenter’s advice was so precise: “Do not engage with this woman. Provide your friend with your insurance card. Notify your insurer of the accident.” That’s the playbook. Period. Don’t argue with Amber’s mom. Don’t try to explain yourself. Don’t send long text messages defending your character. Every word you say can potentially be used in a lawsuit. Let the professionals handle it.
And there’s a flip side to this that makes it even more urgent. Most auto insurance policies have a clause that requires you to report accidents promptly. If you wait too long, if you hide the accident, if you try to handle it yourself and only call the insurance company after you’ve been served with a lawsuit, your insurer can potentially deny coverage. That’s a nightmare scenario. You’d be paying for your own attorney and potentially paying the judgment out of pocket.
The poster in this thread did the right thing by going to r/legaladvice first. But the real move is always the same: call your insurance company before you do anything else. Before you talk to the other party. Before you agree to anything. Before you post on Reddit.
What Amber’s Mom Could Actually Do (and What She Couldn’t)
Let’s map out the realistic legal landscape for a situation like this, because the gap between what people threaten and what they can actually do is enormous.
Amber’s mom couldn’t file criminal charges. Only a prosecutor can do that. She could file a police report, but without evidence of intent or reckless conduct, no prosecutor would pursue attempted murder charges for a hydroplaning accident. That door was closed before it opened.
Amber’s mom could file a civil personal injury lawsuit on Amber’s behalf (or Amber could file one herself, depending on her age). The claim would allege negligence, not murder. And it would seek money damages for medical bills, pain and suffering, and possibly lost wages. This is a legitimate legal path, and honestly, if Amber had a broken arm with significant medical bills, filing a claim through the driver’s insurance would be the normal way to handle it.
Here’s what most people miss: filing an insurance claim against the at-fault driver’s policy isn’t the same as “suing” them in the way most people think about it. Insurance claims get settled out of court all the time. The injured person submits their medical bills to the at-fault driver’s liability insurance, the adjuster reviews the claim, and they negotiate a settlement. No courthouse. No judge. No jury. The vast majority of car accident injury claims never see the inside of a courtroom.
If the claim does escalate to a lawsuit, that’s when the insurance company assigns the defense attorney I mentioned earlier. And even then, most lawsuits settle before trial. The whole system is designed to resolve these disputes through negotiation, not dramatic courtroom showdowns.
What Amber’s mom was doing, based on this post, was emotional posturing. A parent sees their kid with a broken arm and wants someone to pay. That’s understandable. But threatening attempted murder charges is the legal equivalent of threatening to call the president. It reveals a fundamental misunderstanding of how the system works, and ironically, it probably made the situation worse. Instead of calmly filing an insurance claim (which would have been the fastest route to getting Amber’s medical bills covered), she went nuclear with threats that have zero legal basis. That kind of behavior can actually damage your credibility if the case ever does go before a judge.
What to Do If You’re Sued After a Car Accident
So here’s where this lands for you, because if you found this article, there’s a decent chance you’re the one staring at your phone right now, reading a threatening text from someone after an accident.
First: breathe. Threats aren’t lawsuits. People say all kinds of things when they’re scared or angry or trying to intimidate you into handing over money directly. The legal system exists specifically to handle these disputes through a structured process, not through text message ultimatums.
Call your insurance company. Today. Not tomorrow, not after you “figure out what to do.” Now. Give them the date, time, and location of the accident. Give them the other party’s name and contact information. Give them the police report number if one was filed. Tell them someone has threatened to sue. Your insurer will open a claim and guide you through next steps.
Do not admit fault to anyone other than your insurance company. Not in texts, not on social media, not in conversations with the other driver’s family. I’ve seen cases where a simple “I’m so sorry, it was all my fault” text message became Exhibit A in a personal injury lawsuit. Your insurance adjuster and your attorney need to assess liability based on the facts, not based on something you said while panicking at 2 AM.
Do not pay anyone directly. If Amber’s mom had convinced the poster to write a check for medical bills to “keep this out of court,” that money might not have been credited against any future claim, and the insurance company might have argued it was a separate transaction outside the policy. Always let payments flow through the insurance process.
If you’re served with an actual lawsuit (a summons and complaint, delivered by a process server or certified mail), forward it to your insurance company immediately. There are strict deadlines to respond, usually 20 to 30 days depending on your state, and missing that deadline can result in a default judgment against you. Your insurance company’s attorney will file the response on your behalf, but they can’t do that if they don’t know about it.
And if the threatened amount exceeds your liability coverage limits? That’s when you might want to consult your own personal attorney, separate from the one your insurance provides. Insurance coverage limits are the maximum your policy will pay. If someone sues you for $500,000 and your policy limit is $100,000, you could be personally responsible for the difference. Most car accidents don’t reach that level, but it’s worth knowing where you stand. It’s also why insurance professionals recommend carrying more liability coverage than your state’s minimum.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can someone sue me for a car accident if I have insurance?
Yes. Having insurance doesn’t prevent someone from filing a lawsuit against you. What it does is provide you with a legal defense and pay any settlement or judgment up to your policy limits. When someone sues you after a car accident, your liability insurance company assigns an attorney to represent you at no additional cost. The insurance company also pays any damages awarded, up to the maximum coverage amount on your policy. If the judgment exceeds your coverage limits, you could be personally responsible for the remainder.
Can a private citizen press criminal charges for a car accident?
No. Criminal charges are filed by the government through a prosecutor or district attorney, not by private citizens. A person can file a police report and ask law enforcement to investigate, but the decision to bring criminal charges rests entirely with the state. For a car accident to result in criminal charges, prosecutors would need evidence of criminal conduct such as DUI, reckless driving, or vehicular manslaughter. A standard negligence accident (like hydroplaning) wouldn’t support criminal charges because there’s no criminal intent or reckless disregard for safety.
What’s the difference between being sued and having a claim filed against your insurance?
An insurance claim is an informal process where the injured person submits their damages (medical bills, repair costs, lost wages) to your insurance company for payment. No court is involved. A lawsuit is a formal legal action filed in court, with a summons, complaint, and potential trial. Most car accident disputes are resolved at the insurance claim stage and never become lawsuits. If a claim can’t be settled through negotiation, the injured party may then file a lawsuit, at which point your insurance company provides your legal defense.
Should I talk to the other person’s family after a car accident?
Keep communication minimal and avoid discussing fault, liability, or legal matters. Anything you say, including text messages, social media posts, and verbal conversations, can be used as evidence in an insurance claim or lawsuit. Express concern for their well-being if appropriate, but don’t admit fault, apologize for causing the accident, or offer to pay bills directly. Direct them to your insurance company for any injury or damage claims. Let your insurer handle all substantive communication about the accident.
What happens if the lawsuit amount is more than my insurance covers?
If a judgment or settlement exceeds your liability coverage limits, you could be personally responsible for the excess amount. This is called an “excess judgment” and the plaintiff can pursue your personal assets (savings, property, future wages) to collect it. This is why insurance professionals recommend carrying liability coverage well above your state’s minimum requirements. If you’re facing a claim that might exceed your limits, consult a personal attorney in addition to the one your insurance company provides, because the insurance-appointed attorney’s obligation stops at the policy limit.
Do I have to report a minor car accident to my insurance company?
Yes, in almost all cases. Most auto insurance policies include a clause requiring prompt notification of any accident, regardless of how minor it seems. Failing to report can give your insurer grounds to deny coverage if a claim is filed later. What feels minor today (a fender bump, everyone says they’re fine) can turn into a lawsuit six months later when the other party discovers a herniated disc or their “fine” passenger develops chronic pain. Report every accident. Let your insurance company decide whether to open a formal claim.
